HOW IS IT LIKE TO BE ME AND BE CHRISTIAN

As I mentioned my dad had a purpose, to be pastor of a church and he became one 3 months ago, since then he's in charge of a small group of people.

But I bet most of my frequent readers must know how I am like and it might be weird for you to imagine we are a Christian family.

First because I wouldn't be a good follower, I'm not connected with God and it's a shame because I come here every Sunday and everything seems not to apply for me, since I  feel nothing, I don't talk to God and I feel my father is disappointed of me. Sometimes is like if were a guy from another country in a church and I don't speak the same language.

Second I've thought that once you say you're Christian to somebody is like feeling the same that most of the gay people feel when they come out, you feel like you're going to be hated, or people won't like you and they won't talk to you anymore. I am not ashamed or afraid of telling 'I'm' with God but it sorts feels like that.

Something I really like from the ideology of this church I go in specific, is that they say God doesn't force you to do anything, if you want to come you'll do it of you don't want to, don't do it and nobody is going to judge you, in contrary they'll do their best to help you.

And here God loves everyone but no matter if yesterday you did horrible things, you are welcome today, God loves gay people, racists, every sinner etc. He just hates sin.

 I don't feel I deserve all that tho.