I'M MIRACULOUSLY BACK! (BUT NOT FOR MUCH)

TUESDAY 01st SEPTEMBER 2017  (HOT but dunno how much)

I'M BACK!!! ... YAY! ... SOMEONE? ... ANY SURVIVOR?..

Well, whether I'm writing to a few people or to the Nothing, which the likely to. I'm back and these 4 months away from Blogger, from writing, from badly failing my punctuation every time I write. And humiliating myself...


Ok the point is that I'm here I've done some things on these months. So I want to summarise them in points.

1. I learnt to "drive".
2. I finished college.
3. I succeeded in my French certification test (I got the highest mark... just saying😅)


And  basically just that😓, however every thing on that list deserves a whole entry on my blog, there's a lot to say about them.


But that's for another entry, what I meant when I wrote (but not for much) is not that I'll stop uploading "content" to an online platform. I've been thinking a lot lately and one of the things that's been on my mind is that I want to document my life, in a way that I could go back and see how was like to be 22 YO and so on. I want to have visual memories of my life.

The point is that I want to keep doing this uploading my thoughts online so people and myself can see them. And I seriously thinking in moving to a audiovisual format, it is to say YouTube.


I'm going to be honest I've been wanting to make videos since I was like 16 or younger (I'm 22), but you know My Insecurities Tho!

Whether if  it's that I'm too ugly for the camera, my resources for filming and editing are poor, my English proficiency, or the either the haters I could have or the embarrassment then 'ill have when I realise that some people have watched me. That's just stressful and really uses a lot of mental energy and that wouldn't  be healthy. I've thinking of taking a less personal network like Instagram or Twitter but I dropped those ideas.

Even thought I feel encouraged and I feel like YOLOing! Like I don't care what happens, If I look terrible, if my background is crappy! I'll do this for me.

I'm just waiting for some signals that greenlights this idea! because I'm still in doubt! even thought I don't  know what to talk about, I DON'T HAVE AN INTERESTING LIFE NOR A LOT OF KNOWLEDGE OF THINGS!

But I wan to do it, I hope someone gives me that shove I need!

Meanwhile I'll be here in Blogger! P.S. Je me sent plus confiant en français, donc je vais commencer écrire en français et aussi en italien !!

Axl Forsberg!

RAIN THOUGHTS 👻

TUESDAY 11th, OCTOBER 2016 (27° C CLOUDY AND RAINY)


Today was a peculiar day, although I was home the whole day I think I did interesting things today. I tried out the Just Dance 2017 and it was quite an interesting thing, I had never done something like that before and I liked it, I felt I little embarrassed dancing alone though. A funny thing is that the only song available in the Demo is Sorry by Justin Bieber so I danced to that song like 6 times.

So I didn't go to school cause I was raining so heavily that I couldn't leave home, then one hour later I got a call from the group leader telling me that nobody was going to school, so I didn't go.

I spend the whole day with my dog inside thing which is weird here in Mexico, people usually keep their dogs and cats outside.

I also found myself realising about something, ever since I was a kid I've kinda innocent, well more innocent then the regular people of my age.

I realised that since I was a kid my world, my universe was different from most worlds of other kids, I mean there should be other kids like me but I didn't know any. I was made of imagination, creation, I saw and see far beyond of simple things. I was too busy thinking in good things as to know what some other kids knew.

In elementary school there were kids talking about sex an masturbation, and kids who actually masturbated and I didn't know what masturbation was till second grade of middle school!! (there are 3 year of MS here in Mexico).
I didn't know what porn was until some nasty kids introduced me to it, of course after making fun of me like for a year. I was bullied for being innocent, they called me gay just because I didn't watch neither knew about porn. Just because I didn't see women in the morbid way they did.

In high school I was so shocked when I found out that a classmate was pregnant, while most of the others students were like it's OK, I saw it coming or whatever.

I like how my mind works but I don't know if this is positive or negative, this can be my own world. I don't have to worry about the evilness of the world of is it impossible? am I being corrupted?

I wish I was able to do something with this, this kind of aspect of my personality.

I'm sure of one thing.... I'm want to but Just Dance 2017 when it's released!


I also made this sim in the sims 4.

A BEAUTIFUL ANGUISH? (MUST READ)

(THIS IS A TRANSLATION FROM MY ORIGINAL POST ON NOVEMBER 9th 2014 at 9:43 A.M.)

Let's say that this is some kind of feelings, sensations and thoughts and memories mixed up in something that has no name.

"I don't know how to call this but I'd like to find someone who feels/thinks the same. Today (Sunday) I stop feeling sleepy at 7:20 P.M, I was just lying in my bed when a song came into my mind (this usually happens with a song/melody/tune in my mind) it was Young from Air Review at once it also triggered a sensation of yearning, melancholy, extreme homesickness, longing, situations, things I lived, dreams, wishes/desires, dreams, things I've seen and it also makes me yearn new things, things to see, to know, to hear, to feel and think. 

It kinda intensified with the fact that it was raining and a little bit cold and dark.

This "think" brings me "back", images of mental places that I've never been to but someway they're on my mind and it's like if I've had been there they look so real, so livid, they're really beautiful and diverse landscapes.  Some times I think I lived them on my past lives since they look so livid and real but I don't believe in past lives. Some of them give stronger sensations than others, they come up with certain feelings but there is a common feel of yearning between them, a longing to be there and see them with my own eyes and never leave.

Dreams also come to mind, but not any dream,  it is to say beautiful ones that I deeply remember.

I can barely describe one in which I am surrounded by 5'0" ft tall pine-trees and they are ordered in rows all over a ground covered in fog and the sky is also misty. And I'm just walking among them, and ruining, feeling the wet environment, and it's like if I could smell the pine trees and the humidity the mist leaves. I don't think anything neither I hear  much. Some would think it's nothing but each one is like a deep portrait, I have no idea if this portrays something else but for me they are part of a something that may not exist.

This "thing" mix of sensations and experiences don't leave me alone, something they last days and today's was strong, If I get distracted I don't think about them but they're there, I can assure it's not about drugs I have never done drugs, this is something mental, nothing happens in the real world.

It gets me sad, inspired, angry, intrigued, anxious, this is annoying but beautiful, too beautiful, I wish I could make people feel this, like me, it's like if I wanted to burst and divide myself into parts and go to those places, and watch'em  all the way and even the ones that don't  exist.

Most of the tine this is triggered into my mind by an image, a smell (but a strong and significant one), a situation or lonely rainy day, the last one is way I love the most and it gives me that strong sensation, sometimes is like a chain reaction and goes on.

Those are like my ghosts, that bring me peace, everything in my head is stranger and much more complex that I can describe in words, some of them are broken like they're  vanishing in oblivion. Gloomy but awesomely beautiful.

This is really cool and would never like to stop having this, they are so many pictures of memories and unreal places, I've been there alone I've been trying to find someone who feels this but I've got no luck.

This was translated from my original post and since then I haven't had a strong experience like this, everything it's been dry.